This page was made with ClickFunnels - Create Marketing Funnels in Minutes! Click here to get a free 14 day trial account. Your page? Want to remove this banner?
A FREE Online Event
1998 - 2018
20th Anniversary Celebration
In Memory Of My Son Tommy
On This Day And Every Day We Will Always Be Their Parents
I know I lost My Child Too!
You Are Not Alone
Did you know research shows parental loss to be a trauma equivalent to the PTSD of war veterans?

That's Hopelessness. 

How do we recover?  
How do those who love us offer comfort?

I’m Becky Reno and I am here to help. 

After spending 20 years in the vicious cycle of despair, I found my way through the pain and into a life of fulfillment. 

This is Reclaiming Hope. 

Please allow me to be your guide if:
  •  You want to move forward and simply don’t know how or where to start
  •  You’ve tried before but without a guide the steps were too difficult
  •  Someone you love is a parent who’s grieving and you don’t know what to say
  •  It’s breaking your heart to watch them suffer but you struggle with what to do
I sat with experts and thought leaders and asked the questions which would have supported me 20 years ago. 

Those expert interviews have become the Masterclass Reclaiming Hope.

Please accept Reclaiming Hope as my FREE gift to support you on your journey to the best you possible.

The person you know deep down is there and wants the life your heart knows is possible.

Meet My Son Tommy
There he is, pacing…Hovering in front of the amusement park’s photo kiosk, waiting for the image to display. Hoping this time the automated camera got the shot he wanted…and the second it materialized - ”ONE MORE TIME!” He shouted, running. “I know I can get a better shot!” he called over his shoulder as he sprinted to the top of the “Log Ride” once again... I can’t begin to count how many times he sprinted to the top of that ride. 

The perfect depiction of my boy. My only child. Fearless. Brave. Animated. Curious. Focused. Joyful. Tenacious. 

And I can't begin to count how many times I've been grateful I gave honor and space for that curiosity…and that wee bit of perfectionism he most certainly got from me :-)
You wouldn't know by these pictures, or by spending time with him that Tommy had been undergoing chemotherapy and radiation every weekend since he was diagnosed with Leukemia at 10 years old.

It's not that he was unaffected by it, or that he was acting (but trust me he was academy award quality when it came to begging for another pet or a ride to the arcade to spend the five bucks burning a hole in his pocket).  

He just simply chose where to put his focus - on living. And he lived big. Almost as though he knew his moments were fewer on this earth than we expected, so he juiced them for all they were worth. 
Meet Our Experts
Neuroscientist
NY Times Best Selling Author
Journalist/Author
Grief Coach
Dr. Sheila Patel
Medical Director
Chopra Mind Body Medical Group
Marina Kronkvist
Certified Erotic Blueprint Coach
Sex Educator 
Do you see yourself, or someone you love in these descriptions? 
The Identity As A Parent Is Real Yet Not Tangible
  •  You are trying to make sense of a miscarriage or yet   another failed IVF
  •  You didn’t get to baby bump status so others are unaware of your suffering
The Best Day Of Your Life Has Become Your Worst
  •  Your delivery didn’t end with the sound of your child’s cry
  •  Your doctor did everything possible yet you returned from the hospital to an empty crib
The Time With Your Child Was Cut Tragically Short
  •  Your worst fear has become your reality 
  •  You’ve experienced a loss so out of the natural order you can’t make sense of it
The Loss Of A Child, Regardless Of Age, Is Life Altering To A Parent
  •  Your child was just launching into adulthood and the future was cut short
  •  You feel helpless as your grandchildren struggle with their inconceivable loss
As Seen On
Presented By
Our Story
This is us. Two peas in a pod. Pretty easy to tell he's mine. Spend a little time talking to him and you'd be fully convinced. He came along when I was nearly a child myself. Pregnant at 18 and had been 19 for only a few weeks before he came into this world. 

Making the choice to be a stay at home mom wasn't rare in 1981 but it certainly wasn't in fashion. No matter. We were doing our thing and loving it. In an ultraconservative household with no television, one vehicle which Tommy's father took to work each day and the typical financial challenges of starting life as an adult, you would think there would be some struggle. Some resentment. Some wishing for something more. 

I can only remember wishing for one thing in those early days. Holding my tiny babe in my arms, dancing with him around my living room, willing myself to never forget any part of this moment. The smell of his skin. The touch of his fuzzy little head against my cheek. The lilt of peaceful music in the air. The warmth of his body against my chest. Heart to heart. Soul to soul. Those kinds of wishes always come true. 

I can actually feel it as I describe it to you now, with immense gratitude and soberness, all at once.  
Image Courtsey Of Warner Bros.
It's Summer of 1992 and one evening, I call out from the kitchen, “Turn that down!!!”, barely being heard over the Animaniacs theme song.

Wait. What? You don't remember that cartoon??? Pinky and the Brain? Dot? Yakko? Ugh, another thing Siri can search for you later LOL. So, it's the WB cartoon with the theme song that goes something like "We're Animaniacs, we're zany to the max, there's baloney in our slacks…"  

Hey don't question my parenting. That was a Spielberg thing. ;-) 

Sitting down for dinner that night I comment about the bruises that had begun to show up on Tommy’s legs. I asked "Tom Tom, what the heck are you boys doing at day camp?".  

He shrugged and look back at his cartoon "Oh it's nothing Mom, we play dodgeball and everybody looks beat up.”  

I was uncertain but soon we were absorbed in another round of Mario Brothers and a quick jump in the pool before bedtime.
So how did this life of laughter we created with great intention and purpose get severely interrupted with one phone call. One simple phone call. 

When the Pediatrician himself called with our test results, I thought it was strange but he was a friend of my Father, "he's just being kind", said my brain, wanting to make sense of this tilt in normality.  

"Are you by yourself?" he asks me. OK tilt was becoming a spin as my mouth went dry and I struggled to fit this question into the style of our typical exchange. "What?" I puzzled. "Tommy is here. I'm making dinner." Why does this matter my brain struggles to know.  

Why do I feel so clammy and am suddenly aware of my heartbeat accelerating? "I have Tommy's blood test back", he begins.  

Whoa! Now I'm moving into full out reptilian brain response. Blood tests he sent us to the hospital for are back in just a few hours? How is that possible? And even worse, why is that possible?
"I'm sorry Becky", He continues. "Tommy has Leukemia. I need you to come back to the hospital." Wait. What? No. That's not possible. We just need a pill or a shot or a…. What? The hospital?

All this whirls through my mind as I manage to utter the words "Can we come in the morning?" as though my consciousness is keenly aware of the battle we are already in and my mind says, no we'd rather not do this right now. If we must, let's reschedule for another time. "No, Becky. I need you to meet me there now." WHAT??! NOW? NOW?  

Did he really say NOW? OK, here comes full on panic attack mode within my entire being. My brain is spinning like a top shooting out messages to run like the Devil himself is chasing me.  

My body is happily complying by pumping out so much adrenaline it could fuel a rocket launch and my Mama Bear protective mode goes into over drive with a silent scream that were it to have been audible, would have made that demon run in terror taking all of hell's occupants to run for safety.
Evidently the pause on the phone was extended and the doctor graciously offered "Can I call your Dad for you?". 

Oh my God. Yes. Salvation. Someone who will fix this for me. Someone who's better at this than me. Someone who can do it for me. Weird how the brain works. "Yes please call my dad" and we ended the call. A few minutes later while I'm packing the overnight bag as instructed, the phone rings. 

The bottom drops out of my stomach. "It's not bad news. It's not bad news. It's not bad news", my brain began to chant. Then I realize, how could it be anything worse than this???   

I walk to the bedroom in my trance-like state, searching for a place to answer in privacy, a Hot Wheels commercial fading into the background. Feeling like I'm out of my body. Watching the experience like it's happening to someone else. My soul begging for relief.

Remember, this is the phone on the wall, no caller ID era yet I know already who is calling and when I pick up, I instinctively plead "Daddy????"…..
So How Did I Get Here?
Oddly enough, it was after the sudden deaths of my Uncle and Father and caring for my grandmother through Alzheimer’s and her end of life care that healed my heart. Weird right? 

I mean, wouldn’t you think that 3 deaths of the very closest family members in 14 months would drive me over the edge to the point of no return? No one would be surprised if the mental hospital was the next thing on my check list, right? 

So how did that turn into the celebration of the 20th anniversary for the death of my only child and a mission to help parents around the world who suffer parental grief? I suppose I’m the poster child for “God works in mysterious ways”! :-)

First, I woke up to what really matters in life. 

After my dad and uncle were gone and my Grandma became my responsibility, it was easy to say goodbye to my passionate love affair with the corporate world. He/She (choose your pronoun) was the mistress I’d poured my life into after Tommy died. I simply had no use for her when I was reawakened to how temporal our lives are.

Making a life together was the easy part. She and I had been each other’s confidant and buddies for much of my adult life, so there was no real effort in the transition to roommates. 

She had been a light in my life and I in hers, so getting to see her blossom in her new environment and thrive with friends and be happy about life was a joy.  

Second, I had begun what I refer to as My Awakening a couple of years before, embracing the positive and everything that brings the energy associated with it. 

Having learned that what I put my attention to grew in power, I simply integrated her into that process and we launched full force into our full and happy lives together. 

Please know, I’m not suggesting it was easy to be full time caregiver and support someone through Alzheimer’s or Dementia and the end of life. Particularly one whose children had both recently died. 

She would ask why her boys hadn’t been to see her, and thanks to the Alzheimer's, we would begin the grieving process all over again. 

What I AM saying, is that she was actually my teacher and guide. 

While she was dying, she taught me how to live.
Third, I dug deep this time and allowed the full process of grief.
What I refer to as my Practical Application step. Where I took the full circle experience with Grandma, plus the skills I discovered through my Awakening and actually used them in my life. It was tough. Really tough. 

I was processing FOUR deaths, not just one. 

And they don’t call it “the valley of the shadow of death” for nothing! 

Climbing out of that valley was hard! 

AND worth it. Worth it because I now know the difference between surviving and REALLY LIVING.


Fourth, I share what I learned.

After all, isn’t everything better when shared? 

This whole process allowed me to gain valuable grief management, self healing and communication skills that I knew were game changing, life altering stuff. 

How could I keep that to myself? I wanted to shout from the rooftops that there was a way out!! 

My personal journey out of chronic despair and into hope laid the foundation for the resources I now provide to families like yours. 

People wrestling with the many faces of grief, death and dying.  
In closing, let me personally invite you to join me in living the life you were put on this plant to live. You don’t have to go it alone. Please, please, please learn from my mistakes as well as my successes. It’s not enough that I have found my way out. It would be my honor to serve as a guide on your path to freedom.

In honor of you and your precious child, please accept the gift of these expert interviews as you start your Personal Healing Journey. Not a journey to your old self. This is a newer better version of you than you ever imagined. The person you long to be. The person you deserve to be. The person your family needs you to be. 

The person you know deep down is there and wants the life your heart knows is possible.  

To the very best version of you, 
Copyright 2018 - Becky Reno International